Did you know that everyone experiences self-doubt and insecurity?
It’s not just you, and it’s not just me. Every single one of us is held back to some extent from becoming our most beautiful, best selves by self-doubt and comparing ourselves to others.
None of us are even remotely perfect, and that’s ok.
Forbes’ quote of the day sums it up perfectly, “If you aren’t failing, you aren’t learning, and if you aren’t learning, you’re not improving.”
That quote struck me in a big way.
Admittedly, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so realizing that failing is a normal part of life has been a wake-up call for me.
Accepting that it’s ok to take imperfect action and not being so caught up in the outcome is both freeing and terrifying at the same time.
That being said, the more I do it, the easier it becomes, and the more freedom follows. When I allow myself the freedom to make mistakes, I can be easier on myself when I do mess up, and take the learning experience with me.
Imagine what life would be like for you if you were your own biggest cheerleader? If you took the time to build yourself up the way you build up loved ones?
Here are 5 Tips that I find especially helpful for building confidence:
#1 Watch your Self-Talk dialog
“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” —Lisa M. Hayes
I love that. Imagine if a friend came to you and needed encouragement. Would you give it to her, or would you remind her of all the times she failed? You would give it to her, right?
I want you to look at yourself as your own best friend and treat yourself with the highest form of love you can muster. This will take some practice, I can assure you of that. It takes some listening to our internal dialog.
TIP: Watch for thoughts that are limiting and self-defeating. Stop all negative thoughts in their tracks immediately and replace with words that are positive and affirming. The more you repeatedly send positive messages to yourself, the more confident you will become.
#2 Stop Comparing
At some time, we have all tried to act like someone else. I know I have. The one thing that I found? I could not actually be them. Their past is different, their biology is different, and there is a lot I don't know about what they're portraying to the world. Remember how I said everyone has insecurities? Well, even these people that I wanted to be like also have insecurities (phew!)
Exhausting energy on trying to be something that you're not, or fighting day in and out for someone else’s approval will destroy self-confidence. When you compare yourself, you are setting yourself up for failure and feelings of guilt. These feelings only push away confidence.
Tip: When you feel the comparison game starting, shift the attention back to you. Remind yourself of something beautiful about yourself, and you will see an increase in self-confidence.
#3 Enjoy being with you
With all of the technology around us, we’re in a constant state of ‘doing’ something. We’re constantly communicating with other people, whether it’s texting, talking on the phone, social media.
Slow down and use this time to get to know who you are, what you like/dislike, what you want for your life, etc. You are amazing person to be around. Get to know you.
Tip: Turn off your phone and sit in silence for 5-10 minutes each day and spend some alone time with
Exercising will make you feel better about yourself, give you more energy and encourage better life choices and a better attitude. Endorphins are produced in the brain when you exercise, which helps you feel good. Some of our confidence comes from how we feel in our own skin, how we think we look and how healthy our body feels inside. Confidence is a mind and body state.
Tip: Plan to start an exercise routine this week. If you don’t have time to exercise, identify three areas in your life where you can cut 10 minutes. Take that 30 minutes to exercise.
#5 Eat Right
Serotonin is the chemical that makes us happy and most of it is produced in our gut. Poor diets play a role in depressive feelings, and these negative feelings lower self-confidence. Try your best to stay away from frequenting antibiotics, processed foods and high sugar and carb diets. Eating healthy increases your mood toward all things, including yourself.
Tip: Choose one food that you can eliminate from your diet that is providing a dis-service to your life and one food you can add to your diet that would make you feel better about your overall health. Do this for at least one week and see if the diet change impacted your mood and confidence levels.
If you feel like a lack of confidence could be holding you back from being your healthiest and strongest YOU, I invite you to contact me here for a Complimentary 30-minute Discovery Call. I would love to chat with you and discuss ways of overcoming challenges that could be holding you back.
May Anne xo
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May Anne Jordens-LaFlamme is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and the owner of "Wellness with May Anne." She is passionate about helping women look and feel their best, so they can live a more fulfilling life - without dieting, deprivation, relying on willpower or cooking separate meals for the family.